I am often asked, what does it take to build trust? Building trust in relationships, at work and as a team is important.
3 Practices To Building Trust
Certainly Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was the Eiffel Tower.
“The Eiffel tower wasn’t built in a day and neither is TRUST”
When we feel like we can trust someone, it is the best feeling in the world. We are more likely to be open and honest and share our most intimate thoughts, ideas and feelings. We feel safe and secure, knowing that we have confided in someone we can trust. Sometimes sadly we find out that we are wrong and we learn that we cannot always trust people. Maybe they did something to break our trust or confidentiality. When this happens is causes a fracture to the relationship and in business it could lead to a lack of referrals or new business.
It takes courage to open up and share your feelings and heart with someone. Our best hope is that they will honor our humanity and respect us for who we are and recognize our best intentions. Letting someone into our inner circle does take trust. We need to know they have our best intentions at heart, that they are loyal and will protect us and not gossip and be cruel against us. It also means we have to discern and judge for ourselves. We have to observe their actions, see who they are and recognize false idol gossip when we see it aware of those who seek to compete or worse set out to damage a person’s reputation, spreading lies or false information to get themselves ahead.
So how do you continue to build trust?
Here are 3 practices to help you to continue building trust
Building trust takes time. Getting to know someone takes time. Getting to know their heart and who they are happens over a period of several months and even years. Observing their actions rather than their words speaks volumes about who they are. One of the ways mistrust happens is when we feel or think we can trust someone and then they behave in a way that causes us to mistrust them. In business this can lead to a lack of referrals and lost business. In relationships this can fracture even the most promising relationships. Being open and honest with a friend and confiding in them takes courage and trust. Mistrust occurs when your conversation becomes water cooler gossip. Being open and honest with your spouse is vitally important and essential to a lasting relationship. Denying someone an opportunity doesn’t build trust or hiding or with-holding doesn’t either. Sometimes people are so concerned with protecting their honey pot and not helping each other that eventually when there are opportunities for them to receive they have built so much mistrust that people do not want to do business with them.
Respecting someone for who they are, their humanity is something we can all practice even if we don’t always agree with them or the way they have handled a situation. Maybe they acted harshly or unreasonable or the behavior was too severe in your opinion.The truth is we each have different perspectives, opinions, ideas and thoughts and feelings on the way things or situations ought to be handled and since we are all unique having respect for another persons point of view or perspective is to honor their humanity at it’s core, whether we happen to agree or disagree with them. Just because you may or may not like someone doesn’t give you the right to dishonor who they are. Often there is good intent behind every behavior.
Wherever possible, choosing to respond to a situation from our highest self, in a reasonable, mature manner is important. We ask…am I coming from a place of understanding, compassion, empathy and love or am I responding out of fear, insecurity or in a manner that does not honor the other person and their humanity? Am I responding to a situation as if it were an isolated incident or am I honoring a persons behavior in it’s totality?
Time will be the best tell as to whether or not you can truly trust someone. When you truly care about someone and you have their best interests at heart you will stand by them and honor them. You can respect them even if you disagree with them and if you love them for who they are, for their humanity you will be loyal to them. The worst feeling in the world is having your heart broken by someone whom you trusted, loved and admired.
Tread softly and go far, Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was the Eiffel Tower.
Janet I Mueller is the author of her forthcoming book “The Blossoming – A Leaders Guide 10 Keys To Unlocking Your Blooming Potential” and “A Champion’s Guide To Thriving Beyond Breast Cancer. She is a mentor for the Branson Centre of Entrepreneurship, and recognized as a woman of outstanding leadership by the International Women’s Leadership Association. She is a parent educator, writer, coach and speaker. She helps her clients and audience inspiring and instructing helping them to become the best leaders they can be through personal growth and development and servant leadership http://janetimueller.com