How To Deal With Difficult Times

reflectionHow do we cope during difficult times? What can we do to feel better and hold onto a vision for a brighter future?

We all experience difficulty and struggles in life, and as leaders we are not exempt. Being open, honest, vulnerable and transparent about what we go through in life can serve to help other people on their journey. It is not about wearing a victim hat, it is about how can we use what we have experienced and been through to help other people?

How can we take our experience and use it for good to give hope, to inspire, to help and to heal other people who may be experiencing something similar to what we have gone through, healed through etc.

Certainly none of us lead lives without hardship and struggle.

In my life, I have experienced and faced many difficulties and I am sure you have too. I am blessed and grateful to help those who come to coaching for help and also hired to speak on these issues also.

We have all gone through or going through or have overcome some difficulty. Certainly, you are not alone. Here’s a few of the challenges and hard ships I have experienced that maybe you might be able to relate too also in your own life?

  • Raped – physical violence – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
  • Relationship – domestic violence
  • Loss of a loved one
  • Overcome Addiction
  • Lost loved ones to cancer

Three Things You Can Do To Work Towards Feeling Better

1. Understanding – Being compassionate with yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can  give to yourself. Understanding that unfortunately we all experience some very tough times in life. None of us are immune. We all experience hardships from time to time. Often these make us stronger, more resilient. Not that we welcome more difficulty, we don’t.We don’t choose to want to experience hard times to become stronger. Sometimes our greatest support through difficult times is our family, friends and spouse or significant other and sometimes it is not. For some people finding a support group or other social support is needed to help them feel better and work through the difficult times. It is important to note that as we experience hard times, it is not about trying to push those away, to ignore those or to deny what we are feeling, sensing and experiencing even though the emotions are painful. We are to realize and accept that yes it is hard, yes it is painful yet somehow believe that in time things will get better, things will improve. That we are able and capable of responding to our circumstances in a way that will help us to move forward. Being and feeling understood in times of difficulty is important. Talking with someone that is understanding, compassionate and empathetic can help. No one wants to be told “Just snap out of it” as with all things time is one of the greatest healers. Being patient with yourself, be compassionate with yourself and try to focus on working some things into your routine each day that will help you to experience and feel some joy, some positivity even in a difficult time.

2. Vision – believing that things can be better, that in time things will improve. That there will be a sunny day beyond the storm, a brighter day and time when things are better than they are now. Believing that you will experience a better time. Knowing and feeling intuitively that you are destined for something greater than your current situation and believing you are able and capable of something better. Re- connecting with your values, your strengths of having overcome hardship in the past and believing you are going to live your values, ideals and standards in life. Arriving at a point when you take action, positive steps again toward attaining the things you desire in life, the experiences, relationships, career you want etc.

3. Contribution – In all our lives we can choose to find a lesson, something to learn out of every situation we experience. To find a meaning that is empowering, a golden ray of sunshine in even the most difficult of times. A lesson to learn from the difficulty. As we experience hard times in our own lives, I believe we can help other people with what we have gone through and experienced in our own lives. I believe there is a healing that takes place as we elevate out of our selves and transcend to a place that we can serve and help other people that are going through similar difficulties. I believe we are all here to make a difference, to contribute and to love one another. I am a person of faith and I do believe that what we endure, what we go through is God’s way of equipping us for something greater. To be able to help other people as they go through and need help on their journey.

Sending you positive energy, warmth, compassion and understanding if you are in a place today where you are experiencing hardship and difficulty. Be compassionate with yourself. Hold onto a vision for a brighter future, believing you will arrive. Try to find an empowering meaning to the difficult experience, maybe through your story and hard times you can in time beyond your own healing, help to bring healing to someone else who needs your compassion, love, and support.

How are you positively better having come through difficulties in your life? What empowering meaning did you come up with to help you cope and come through some of the difficulties in your life?

Janet I Mueller is the CEO of J Mueller Group. She passionately serves and helps her clients and audiences to unlock and achieve their full potential through personal development and leadership growth, helping leaders to become excellent leaders through practice and philosophy of servant leadership. Janet is a mom, educator, executive coach, speaker and published author. Coming soon, her new book “The Blossoming – A Leader’s Guide 10 Keys To Unlocking Your Blooming Potential”. Author of “A Champion’s Guide To Thriving Beyond Breast Cancer”Janet is an advocate and member for RAINN the largest national anti sexual assault organization.

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