Perhaps the perceived process pain is where the focus is, rather than on the joys, gains, positives, wins and gifts that await us on the other side of having made that choice. It’s possible to be clear about what you want and yet still hold back.
Naturally, none of us want to experience pain or perceived pain that we may have attached to a going through the “process” of a change or having made a particular choice. In choosing to focus our attention on the positives on the benefits of such a choice or change is KEY to helping us take action on the choices and decisions we need and or must make in life.
Certainly, we are all faced with important decisions and choices we need to make at some point in our lives. Decisions such as, when to leave a job, start a family, start a business, when to retire, or embark on a new career or where to live, or who to marry?
Often clients come to coaching, needing help with making such important life decisions and transitions. They are looking for some perspective and direction. Mostly, in need of a sounding board and some objectivity and a chance to further explore their options, as in which way to go when standing at the crossroads.
The question is…
how do you know which choice is best? How do you know which way to go and which path to travel?
I believe all roads eventually do lead HOME. We all travel many paths in life and often we don’t see at the time how it all fits in with the bigger picture, yet as we look back and connect the dots we can make sense of, understand, see and feel how we eventually arrived home.
This being said, there are specific things you can do, to help you during those critical and important times in life when faced with making the right choice for you, the best decision you can make. Empower yourself with these three steps to helping you, choose and choose well.
Here are 3 steps to choosing, and choosing well:
1. Homework – do your research, be informed and arm yourself with education. It’s easier to make a better choice when you have the facts. When you seek to first understand. Harder to make a good choice with little to no information. Gain a bigger perspective around the issue or topic at hand and do due diligence, do your homework, ask questions and speak with people who have done what you aspire to do. Imagine you were faced with picking the right college or University to go to, I am sure you’d do your homework and find the right college or university that best served your educational goals. When you are open to explore options and educate yourself, by researching and doing your homework, you gain a much larger perspective and as a result can easily narrow your focus and hone in on the best of a few options. Once you decide which is THE best choice for you, give it all you got!
2. Resonate – Does your most ideal choice resonate with you. Does it feel right to you. Can you see yourself, picture yourself living with that decision and sensing that it is the right way to go for you? How does this decision fit in with the long-term plans you have in life? Does this particular choice pass the intuition test and does it sit well within you? Do you need to make a short term choice along the way to fulfill your long term goals?
3. Whole – How does your choice effect those around you? Would it also be good for them? As you factor this into your decision making, would it make sense, does it serve the whole, would this choice suit you and those closest to you? Not to base your decision purely on the basis of what other people may think, although being mindful and taking this into consideration is important and worth your while. Ultimately, doing what will be best for you will likely serve the whole eventually, as a by product of your great decision and choice making.
Finally, in knowing who you are, what you want and where you want to go lends itself to being more clear. Having more clarity around what it is that is important to you and for you in life. Knowing your values and what it is that you desire and want to accomplish in life is certainly helpful to choosing and choosing well.
Sometimes we do need to make choices out of necessity and not always out of desire. A stepping stone choice can take us to a longer term choice that we most want and desire. Meaning, sometimes you have to do the best you can do with what you have or with what your circumstances currently are, making the best choice in a difficult situation can be hard because it can be like “Hobson’s Choice”, meaning very little to no choice at all.
We can aim to turn lemons into to lemonade.
“Common sense isn’t always common practice”
Help with choosing and choosing well…
Certainly, having a framework like the one above, these three simple steps to consider, is helpful toward making choices and choosing well, for you!
How do you go about making important choices in your life?
What are some of the major life choices you’ve made and think, sense or feel that you have chosen well?
Janet I Mueller is the CEO of J Mueller Group. She passionately serves and helps her clients and audiences to unlock and achieve their full potential, to raise their self-esteem through personal growth and leadership development. Helping leaders to become excellent leaders through practice and philosophy of servant leadership. Janet is a mom, educator, executive coach, speaker and published author. Coming soon, her new book “The Blossoming – A Leader’s Guide 10 Keys To Unlocking Your Blooming Potential”. Author of “A Champion’s Guide To Thriving Beyond Breast Cancer” Janet is an advocate for women and girls and member of RAINN the largest national anti sexual assault organization. She is hired to speak on personal growth, leadership development and self-esteem.